What Men Need to Know about 50 Shades of Grey in 100 Words or Less

I will admit that I read 50 Shades of Grey but I will not admit that I thought it was the best book I have ever read. If you do think it is the best book you have ever read then you seriously need to get your priorities in order and pick up an actual novel with substance. I did however believe it was interesting enough to keep reading, mostly because I had predicted how it would end and wanted to see if I would be right. For the record, I was right. I could write several pages on why this book is terrible, hilarious, the same as Twilight, etc., but I won't because any guy reading this has already zoned out. So here you go, this is what men need to know about the elusive novel written by E.L. James.

Women want you to be mysterious but also completely open about why you so mysterious. If you are a billionaire, it is acceptable to stalk women and ask them to be your sex slave, complete with a signed contract. Women like you to be a little rough in the bedroom, but then will be upset when you take it too far. You are supposed to find it incredibly sexy and irresistible when women bite their lips. If your name is Christian Grey, women will swoon for days. That's all. Word Count: 89

Now for all the ladies, here is a picture of who I believe should be Christian Grey in the movies. Can you say dreamboat?


p.s. this is Henry Cavill if you didn't know.