What Men Need to Know about 50 Shades of Grey in 100 Words or Less

I will admit that I read 50 Shades of Grey but I will not admit that I thought it was the best book I have ever read. If you do think it is the best book you have ever read then you seriously need to get your priorities in order and pick up an actual novel with substance. I did however believe it was interesting enough to keep reading, mostly because I had predicted how it would end and wanted to see if I would be right. For the record, I was right. I could write several pages on why this book is terrible, hilarious, the same as Twilight, etc., but I won't because any guy reading this has already zoned out. So here you go, this is what men need to know about the elusive novel written by E.L. James.

Women want you to be mysterious but also completely open about why you so mysterious. If you are a billionaire, it is acceptable to stalk women and ask them to be your sex slave, complete with a signed contract. Women like you to be a little rough in the bedroom, but then will be upset when you take it too far. You are supposed to find it incredibly sexy and irresistible when women bite their lips. If your name is Christian Grey, women will swoon for days. That's all. Word Count: 89

Now for all the ladies, here is a picture of who I believe should be Christian Grey in the movies. Can you say dreamboat?


p.s. this is Henry Cavill if you didn't know. 

5 Reasons Why Kate Middleton Is The Perfect Princess

Now I know we have all fantasized that we were actually a Princess from some obscure country destined to rule your country with the utmost class complete with dozens of eligible suitors waiting for you when you arrive. However, that only happens in The Princess Diaries or to Olivia Wilde so don't get your hopes up. The closest I will ever get to becoming a real life Princess is by living vicariously through Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge even if she does live across the Atlantic and I have never met her. I have big dreams.

I was a huge Princess Diana fan, I even had the beanie baby they created for her. She was flawless, beautiful, elegant, charitable and a Princess. So it is no surprise that I have a big girl crush on her son's bride. I hope that doesn't sound too creepy. Below I have compiled a list of reasons complete with pictures I borrowed from google and facebook to explain why I think that Kate Middleton is the perfect modern day Princess. Side note: I know that technically she is a Duchess, but I don't really understand the English Monarchy and will call her a Princess.

1. Her engagement ring is Princess Diana's engagement ring. I mean, what a great hand me down. It isn't like this is just some huge rock that he got at Jared. Even though this ring is slightly tainted with heartbreak and divorce, she wears it with a million dollar smile. 


2. Her wardrobe is unreal. I mean who else can rock those hats without apology and still look effortlessly chic? Answer: no one. I know she probably has a team of stylists choosing her every outfit, but I choose to believe she hand picks every outfit and looks fabulous because of it. 



3. Her given name is Catherine Elizabeth and the world calls her Kate. Another reason this is reminiscent of Princess Diana, the world called her Di which is precious. Personally, I believe the name Catherine is beautiful and think she should go by that. But, when the entire world calls you by a nickname, you know you're an icon. Also, when you play ping pong in a dress. 



4. The Royal Wedding was one of the highlights of my year and not only because it was a fairy tale come true on live television. There were parties celebrating this event all over the world. For example, my favorite Ohio State bar, Too's held a Royal Wedding viewing party starting at 5am with drink specials until the next day at 2:30am. This event was complete with ring pops for all the wannabe princesses and a british buffet for all the men who came to watch us crazy ladies. I believe one day there will be a live broadcast of my wedding all over the world with OSU students drinking to our marital bliss at their favorite college bar. I said I dream big. 



5. She was deemed a commoner in her home country of England, went to university as they say, met a prince, got a job as an accessory buyer, broke up with said prince then several months later was engaged to be married and became a princess. So clearly I did college wrong. Is it too late to go back? She was nicknamed "waitey kate" by the media because it looked as if all she was doing was waiting around for a wedding proposal to become part of the royal family. She made some great life decisions that I completely support which also further my reasoning as to why I believe she is the perfect princess, she doesn't take "no" for an answer. 



Now these are only a few reasons as to why Kate Middleton is flawless in my mind. I didn't even touch on the fact that she is absolutely stunning, has the perfect smile, has my dream job, was at basically every Olympic event and has an English accent. I'm sure one day when I'm feeling extra jealous of her life I will write more about why she is perfect but that's all for now. 

Martha Stewart Wannabe, Minus the Orange Jumpsuit

I have a few aspirations in life: to be successful, to be happy, to make the best cupcakes in Columbus and then the world, to own an English Bulldog named Henry and to be able to make a beautiful centerpiece out of sticks and apples like Martha Stewart. Except for her little stint in the big house, Martha is a completely acceptable woman to aspire to be like, at least in my personal opinion. She is intelligent, soft spoken, wealthy, has a talk show and taught Snoop Dogg how to make mashed potatoes. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ocre0kXgvg) This week I decided to channel my inner Martha, as I do most weeks and make a collection of crafts using the same items. In addition to my craftiness for the week, I made some delicious cupcakes (so say my coworkers) even though I may or may not have failed miserably when trying to make caramel butter cream icing. 

Now, I am not an inherently crafty or artistic person. I usually draw like a five year old after she has had 17 pixie sticks; outside the lines with mismatched colors and giving up halfway through. But, I decided that this time I would power through and finish these few projects to the best of my 22 year old ability. So I started off this day of crafting at the holy grail of craft stores, Hobby Lobby. I've gotta admit that I can spend hours upon hours in this place and possibly have in the recent past. After spending way too much time perusing the aisles, I decided to make some purchases and they were as follows. 

Things I Bought

Multi-Pack Canvas, 2pack 11" x 14" - $5.99

Prima Flowers Multipack, 1.2 ounces - $12.99

Mason Jar, 16 ounces - $1.79

3 Botanic Artistry Gerbera Flowers in White, Yellow and Purple, 24" - $2.99 each

Americana Acrylic Paint in Purple Cow, Lamp Black, Grey Sky, Traditional Burnt Umber, Antique Gold, Spa Blue, Baby Blue and Cocoa - $0.99 each

Value Brush Set, 25 brushes - $4.99

Bag O' Buttons, Pastel, 7 ounces - $4.99

Total before coupon: $47.64

Total after coupon: $28.58

Note: Hobby Lobby always has 40% coupons online or on your phone, which is awesome. Jo-ann also has a 20% student discount if you ask them. 

Things I Had

Glue Gun

Wine Corks

Pictures of my friends

Scissors

Wire Cutters

Once I had all my supplies ready to go, I was prepared to start my crafts for the day. I found this really cool picture on Pinterest (of course) that was a painting of a tree with flowers and buttons so I kinda stole their idea and made it my own. Once I made this fancy little painting, I had some leftover supplies so I kinda just made a hodgepodge of things until I got bored. Here they are.

These are the flowers that I bought at Hobby Lobby, but I glued two of them together to make them look prettier and set them aside. Then, I painted the whole canvas grey as a background. Like I mentioned, I am not the most artistic person so I drew out my tree on a scrap paper and then followed that drawing onto my canvas. Once my fancy new tree was dry, I used my hot glue gun to put my pretty new flowers on my painting. Then, voila a lovely new original painting by Hannah Pease.

So, I have a lot of leftover wine corks. I can't imagine why. It could be my love for red wine, but who knows really. I used the top of my mason jar and hot glued the two pieces together. Then, I took some of my leftover flowers and glued those on the sides. Finally, I took 4 wine corks and glued them on the bottom so that the top isn't flat. Very simple and then you have a fancy new coaster.

Like I said I have a lot of wine corks so I decided to make use of them. I took the lid off my mason jar to use for the coaster and tossed in a few wine works. Then, I used wire cutters to make the flowers shorter and fit inside the mason jar. Ta da, new decoration for my desk. 

Well, those were my Martha Stewart crafts for the week. They were really easy and match enough to be decorations in my bedroom so I'm a fan. This week, I'm planning on making some delicious cupcakes but I'll wait to share the details until I know they are a success.